Out with the Old

Big changes are coming in my life. I know because I can smell it.

One way I know is that I have been feeling a little stale. I should get a walk-in refrigerator to keep myself fresh. My naturopathic doc calls it mental dullness. She looked at my brain through my ear and indicated that it looked grey and mushy.

I think she thinks I’m stupid, and it’s possible that she is completely right. I have suffered from medical grade stupidity for all of my life. It’s a little surprising that I have been able to pull together a relatively successful life despite my medical condition. I haven’t always been such a successful dude. Two weeks ago I had a serious crack problem, but things are turning around...

Some of the expected changes:

• This week will be the official wardrobe changeover from winter to summer. I have to air out my thong swimsuits and patch all of the holes. 
• I will make a new friend. This new friend will have a hot tub in their back yard and will invite me over all of the time.
• I will play with three new bands in the next month. Two are already signed up!
• I will stop making deals with the devil. That includes any of you who I deem to be toxic.
• If the Laotian embassy doesn't get back to me, I will find a job with another embassy representing a small narcissistic government.
• I'm gonna buy a house in Parkdale or Roncesvalles.

Going to Joy Bistro tonight for Dave's 72nd birthday party. Should be fun except that he only eats prunes and he orders everyone's food for them. 

I also went to a Peruvian place this weekend called La Cocina de Dona Luz with my brethren Oliver Vasquez Toledo. The Peruvian fare there is great, but since Oliver is visiting from Mexico for only a couple of weeks, he has trouble following the rules. The waiter asked him politely to get down from the table top but he just kept on dancing and taking off his clothes. A lot of the other patrons didn't seem to mind. A couple of them even paid him for the entertainment by putting $5 bills in his underwear. Nothing is wrong with Oliver, the problem is that table top dancing is taboo in Canada.

Viva la revolucion!